Blended family guidance

"...Tame me if you ever want a friend!

-What should I do? the little prince asked.

- You must be very patient, answered the fox. First you sit down on the grass, like so, a little further from me. I'm watching you and you're not saying anything.

...But day by day you can sit a little closer..."

(de Saint-Exupéry 2014, p.69, translated from Finnish)

Blended family guidance is intended for new families who need help with the challenges that have arisen in the blended family. The new family is as strong as the new couple is, that is very true. When newlyweds are doing well, often the children in the family are doing well too, regardless of the challenges from outside.


Blended family guidance can deal with the dynamics of the new family, interaction, relationship, relationship with children, relationships between children, relationships with ex-spouses or relatives, feelings, challenges or problems caused by the new couple relationship and the new family. New family counseling can discuss the development stages of the new family, boundaries, traditions, histories of ex-families, new family integration, family celebrations, or other practical arrangements in the new family. Time use, rules of the game for the new family, family meetings and roles as adults and parents of the new family are also common issues discussed in blended family guidance.


A blended family is a jungle of attachment relationships and it is rare to be able to get as attached to a bonus child as strongly as to a biological child. It takes time for a new family to become a family, sometimes so long that the children reach adulthood. The process is very similar to foster families, with the difference that usually only one of the family's parents is the legal parent of some of the children. This brings challenges, not only on a practical level, but also on an emotional level. Feelings of outsiderness, jealousy and inadequacy are very common in a new family. Although the will is good, sometimes outside help is needed to clarify the picture and put the pieces of the puzzle back into place.


The goal of blended family guidance is always to help and support the new couple or family in question with their family situation, challenges and feelings. Every family is unique, and no one has to fit into any mold.


For more questions, contact me: marianne.kvist@saroja.fi


Below there is a link to the developement task of my blended family guidance training in Finnish – Affection and needs in a blended family.

https://www.uusperheneuvoja.fi/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Kiintymyssuhde-ja-tarpeet-uusperheess%C3%A4.pdf